I thought it would be a good idea to jot down a little about how the first 21 days of Adelyn's life has been.
To remember...the things you so easily forget.
The first thing that I think struck me in the hospital room on the first night is that I love her as much as I do Norah. When we only had Norah I would often wonder, sometimes worry, that there is would be no way for me to love the next one as much as the first. The idea of loving 2 people equally so very much was so hard to fathom...but I do, I truly love them both the same. What a blessing that God has given us 2 children to love and care for and raise up. I am truly overwhelmed by this thought. God is so good and I do not take them for granted at all. I am so well aware there are people around me that I love so dearly that would give anything to have 1 and we have 2. So blessed and humbled by this huge responsibility, I could seriously start crying right now.
And that brings me to the next topic: Baby blues.
In all seriousness I am over them and thankful that I have not had seriously cases of being overly sad and tired. But...for the first 2 weeks these are blues that should not be messed with. I remember them from Norah and they were back again. They hit somewhere around 6-9 pm and do not last long. Just long enough to get a good cry in over something then they quickly go away. By the end of the second week I was back to my normal self. I seriously could find anything to cry about during these times. I cried over Norah making pretend Wedding Cakes in the bathtub, I cried over Adelyn spitting up and sometimes I would cry about nothing, seriously sit on the couch next to Joe and just cry. He would give me something to cry about...like our Amazon stock taking a big hit that day or the Cubs losing, so I would cry about that. Pitiful I know, thankful they are gone, but aware that things are not perfect here on Earth and so that is why Baby Blues exist.
Another humbling experience that I would like to remember is the fact that I am not perfect at taking care of these girls. This was something I had to realize and accept very early on. The second day we were in the hospital Norah came down with a bad cold. When we got home it did not hit me until 3 days later that Norah had not received cold medicine or had a bath for almost a week. oops. I quickly realized that just because there are 2 does not mean I can only care for one child at a time...I have to care for both. This was hard. Juggling the 2 of them, their needs, Norah's wants, and life is hard. Hard but not impossible. I came to terms with the fact that things are going to be rocky but that is okay. Time to adjust is okay...if you know me this was big for me. I typically like things to just fall into place immediately. Patience was learned here. Also it IS getting better. Everyone was up, dressed, and out the door in 1 hour today...whoohooo for progress.
Speaking of Gods Grace...we have been blessed by great friends and family. We have had so many meals delivered to us we have been so overwhelmed by Gods provision. Seriously...I think last night was the first night we cooked hamburgers ourselves...it is awesome and so unbelievably helpful and something we do not take for granted at all!
Something hard:
nursing!
I think one of the hardest adjustments has been nursing little miss Addie Mae. I am going to sound like a whiner here because Adelyn could not have been an easier baby to nurse. If you know anything about newborns you know they either get it right away or they don't, and if they don't it is a hard uphill battle. Well Adelyn is a pro-seriously had it figured about right away. So what is the problem you ask...my selfishness. These first 3 weeks I have wanted to quit so many times I cannot even tell you. IT is pitiful. I have been looking for any excuse possible to quit. I will tell you...it is not fun, it is tiring when YOU have to be the one to get up at night because YOU have to feed them, painful, stressful at times because you do not know how much they are getting, time consuming, and a little lonely when you have to leave the room at some sort of party or function because you are the only one that can feed your baby.
BUT...for all of you who think it cannot be done. IT CAN BE. BY God's grace the last few days have been easier. We have the hang of things, I am trying to not be so consumed by the selfishness that so bitterly enraged me over this issue and I am learning to enjoy the time with Adelyn and plan my time wisely around feedings.
The nights also have not been bad. I get up usually somewhere around midnight, then again around 2 or 3, then again around 6. I am so thankful, and a little surprised, that I feel restful everyday. I am not tired, dragging, and longing for the day she sleeps through the night. I am thankful. Thankful that God has provided a way to feed my child that is easy {at times} and so cost effective. I am thankful for the bonding that Adelyn and I have and that she knows me and I know her...because we spend over 4 hours each day next to each other!!
Hard yes...worth it right now...yes.
Now...if something happens and I had to stop tomorrow I would not feel guilty...I want to keep the big things the big things and not make small things Big things, if that makes sense.
So...when I had Norah I came home and immediately was able to button my jeans up, so it should not come as a surprise that I was expecting the same thing to happen this pregnancy. Well...it did not. It has been 3 weeks and I cannot even fit into the pants that I used to pull on and off without unbuttoning...can you say humbling? Well...such is life and I am sure my hips will go back to a normal size soon. I have been thrilled with the recovery from my c-section and I have been able to go to the gym and work out for a week now. It has been great to have energy to workout. I do not think I realized how achy and the lack of ability to move I had in those last few weeks of pregnancy.
I am thankful that the weather has dipped below 100 degrees. DO not get me wrong...I love the weather hot, but with a newborn it is so unsafe to have her outside for any amount of time in that heat so I was feeling super trapped inside. No pool, no walks, no zoo, nothing. At least now she can be outside for a little while in the shade.
Last but not least I think I need to address the fact that I have been super shocked that not all 2 babies are the same. Despite the similarities of pictures from the 2 girls {see below} they could not be any more different. Norah was a GREAT sleeper, I thought all babies slept great. Adelyn does not sleep hardly at all and when she does she grunts and moans the entire time. Norah also had no problems with any reflux or anything. Addie on the other hand always seems to have an upset stomach, poor thing. She spits up entire meals and is cranky often.
Adelyn 1 weeks Norah 3 weeks
so much good stuff...God is good, we are thankful!
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